Whatz that in the road?

Hi'dy, Bin up round Fairplay awanderin' so I wandered in ta town to take a look at the goin's on. WHOOOO EEEEE! Did you ever see such a bunch o turists and greenhorns! An evrbody seems to bring their animals. Now, I went to see the burros race up to the top o the pass an back, but there was a passll a strange lookin beast with heads that looked like a goat an a huge body that looked big as a cow. I don know, but they must've not liked the area, or the air was too rarefied for 'em, cause one of 'em laid plum down in he middle o the street, an wouldn't budge. Dangedest thang I ever seen!!! Runned into my good friends Dale and Gale an asted them 'bou the roads that got shut off on privit property on ol' Mt Bross, an' they says that people just don't respect no body's private propety. They run around the gates and cut fences an dump oil in the middle o the road that runs down the mntn inter the lakes below an kill all the fish for years. Now, I don know where all these feriners is comin from, but their mommas sure din't learn them no manners! Them mines up there have tunnels running all over unner ground and the ground is unstbl sometimes, so the people who own them want people to stay off certain roads for their own safety. Ifn you r trespassin on somebody's property, I'd like your address to your home sos I kin visit you and run my burro all over yr bakyard. That's all I got ta say ta day.